


Nunca es suficiente

by Ztupii



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Hanahaki Disease, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Multi, Sadstuck, Song - Freeform, Songs, Spanish Songs, Trolls on Earth, Unrequited Love, natalia lafourcade's songs, there is not happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 22:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17795942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ztupii/pseuds/Ztupii
Summary: So, the titled is written on Spanish, but the fic is in EnglishBut I just say that I wanted to write a fic for San Valentin, about this ship





	Nunca es suficiente

**Author's Note:**

> The songs are in Spanish it was intentional they are from Natalia Lafourcade
> 
> And in the end notes you find the songs with lyric translate

Stat in the beginning you are KARKAT VANTAS, you are a troll who lives with his brother and Father and you live on earth since you had 2 sweeps old.

You love romantic films not matter the species and don’t begin with romantic literature, anime, manga, comic… don’t matter what you love romance and a lot of your hobbies are centered on it (in fac you only learn how to play acoustic guitar because of romantic songs). You have other hobbies of course that are not romance centric like your aspiration to be a great threshecutioner something childish considering the nature of your caste, lime bloods are more therapists, moderators, counselors, caregivers and diplomats before than warriors, also you like hack even if you are terrible at it.

Life is good here on earth you meet almost all your friends here like Sollux a troll who is the best hacker you know, obviously you never will feed his ego with your compliments also there is Kanaya other troll always so fashionable and your lovely moirail then is Gamzee another troll… yea fucking clown but is still a good friend, sometimes you still se Terezi is a good girl. You make human friends too like John and Jade, there is Rose and your best friend Dave FUCKING strider the nucleus of your grief.

You share High school with all your friends, and you all do the generic sitcom activities and situations, sit in the same table while breaks, searches clubs, enter contest, go to the parties, go to see the games and of course fell in love with each other’s some ones more serious and lucky than others. You lost some friends because of this too like Eridan who get Hanahaki Disease was no correspond and refuse to take the surgery so he dead, Nepeta who love you also get the disease and you really try with but when thing didn’t go better you ask her to make the surgery she do but she no longer talk to you, Tavros fell for Gamzee and they look have a nice relationship but break up. Some of the lucky ones was vriska with John and rose with Kanaya. You had your own history with the disease BUT you  HAD a LOT OF A FUCKIN ASHOLE BADLUCK because you get it two times, and this time, the last one was with your best friend (FUCKING CLICHES) Now you are trying to remember HOW THE FUCK YOU LET IT HAPPEN?

Well all start when you were 6 sweeps old and you meet the strid-londes a pair of twins news in twon, rose was cool but almost instantly you hate Dave, but you mean like really REALLY HATE HIM SO FUCKIN MUCH. In those years your relationship with him don’t was so conflictive like is now, you usually bother each other, insult and sometimes you fight. Maybe there is when your problems star to raising you two were spend a lot of time together in detention, in infirmary, your guardians had meetings trying to solve the conflict between you two while you both always were in the roof avoid them, some times you even agree to come with something to eat and drink then he invites you to play videogames, you invited him to watch movies, you two prank others and it was really fucking funny, you two skip classes and cover each other, you play guitar for some of his shitty mix, you scratch with stupid dicks draws in each other books and notebooks, Some time wen you caught john sleeping you two took the markers and scratch his face with the same shitty draws.  Your best friend, you were best bros and then YOU FUCKING SPOIL IT

Fucking Hanahaki disease, you now what it is, everyone on earth know WHAT IT IS there exist a lo of investigation around it, and even more romantic shitty stories of which some are tragical and others are childish. A lot of people believe that if you cure because you are corresponded then you and that other individual will be together forever, HA HA, you used to believe it too but then here you are, you suffer this disease before with Terezi and you too become matesprites you cure of course and for a season or two it was all happy but then… things just didn’t work, you both were a disaster and have a lot of problems and things start to be awkward and you to try to solve it but the love fell between you two and you both agreed that is the best to end…

Well when you two end things, you knowing that childish stories star to investigated feeling a little of a freak but then it pops like a cruel reality a lot of people shares the same luck and shares their histories with the world. There is the thing Hanahaki disease was a bitch of a illness because your history could end like this:

  * FUCKING HAPPY ENDING (rare cases you GUESS)
  * The one you love because of guilt try to love you back failing miserably and dead
  * The one you love, love you back and things go well still there is a problem and break up and you two could have a new outbreak of the disease
  * Surgery could be the easier way, BUT NO because of side effects removes all feeling you have for those people and exist a great risk of lost the capability of love (flush love for trolls) well side effect could change depend the species but not matter.



 So FUCKING Hanahaki disease and FUCK you for had it with STRIDER of all people but you are not afraid of this new outbreak of the disease in your body because if there is something you know about this is that Dave could correspond you, you know it, you are a professional when romance come to the table. So, you plan to confess today February 14 it will be romantic and PERFECT.

You planned it since you discover you was sick at fucking domestic class, and get your brother and father to help you to composed and record this special song for Dave even get your Spanish teacher help to composed it and even get Kanaya plus Rose to listen to it. -ok ready…-

Poniendo la mano en el corazón  
Quisiera decirte al compás de un son  
Que tú eres mi vida  
Y no quiero a nadie más que a ti

 

Poniendo la mano en el corazón  
Quisiera decirte al compás de un son  
Que tú eres mi cielo  
Las aves que retan su poder  
Que respiro el aire  
Que respiro el aire  
Que respiro el aire  
Que respiras tú, no tienes remedio  
No tienes remedio, no tienes remedio  
Eres mi gran amor.

 

Poniendo la mano en el corazón  
Quisiera cantante toda una canción  
Que tú eres mi cielo  
Eres mis consuelos  
Que respiro el aire  
Que respiro el aire  
Que respiro el aire  
Que respiras tú, no tienes remedio  
No tienes remedio, no tienes remedio  
Eres mi gran amor.

 

Amor de mis amores  
Sangre de mi alma,  
Regálame las flores de la esperanza  
Permite que pare  
para decirte que tú eres el amor de mis amores  
para decirte que tú eres el amor de mis amores

 

Amor de mis amores, tú eres mi cielo  
Amor de mis amores, tú eres mi cielo

 

Amor (de mis amores, tú eres mi cielo)  
Amor (de mis amores, tú)

 

Everyone with who you tested the song say it was beautiful, you father and brother look proud and kanaya and rose happy. So, it is February 14 and you are in the school with your guitar, you are sickness nervous, it anxiety almost paralyzed you, suffocating you and you cough a little nothing serious. The minutes looks like hours and hours looks like days you almost star to scream to the clock to move fast but you didn’t you wait with no patience.

Then break comes and instead of going to your locker you go to Dave’s, you will give him the letter and then you kneel down and the you start to play and then… and then you see him and Terezi there first is no weird their lockers are close each other but what was weir was Dave’s surprise face and then him smile shrug and say “Yeah why not?” proceeding to make his show and say in loud voice “LADIES STRIDER IS NOT MORE IN MARKET” the next thing that happen was fast and confusing you coughed louder and see traces of lime blood in your hand, your friends sure notice you, but before nothing happen you take your letter and your guitar and get the fuck off of the place.

You cry the rest of the day and ignoring your friends, you feel like a fool because you know they get closer recently, you know Dave is hetero, you sure could saw the final resolution for them. But still go like a fool thinking you had a chance. At the night comes Kanaya and Rose they say everyone is worried, try to console you and you said rose to not interfere in the situation, but you could see she will do it.

 The next day you are still a crybaby but resolved one, go with your family accept their pity and continue to say you will do the surgery they didn’t object, you go to the hospital instead the school that day get a check and the kind lady say to you that you are luck disease is not that bad yet so she programed your surgery in a month and give some medicines to control it, at home your family advise you that maybe you could go and get thing right with Dave and your friends because the side effects of the surgery and say you still have time, and feel like you know that already you are not stupid, you knew the risk of the cure, it will be awkward but you are not a child anymore and you learn of your past mistakes, before when you was 6 years old you could go and suffer in silence like an asshole, still it kill you or you dad use his authority to do the surgery without your agree, and  you can’t just disappear like that some friends do that in the past it is hurt and awful thing to do so you know that you need to tell your friends something at least.

Next day you came to school only to be surrounded by your friends, by their questions and ignorance of personal space’s meaning, you clam them the fuck off to start to actually answer. So you say to them about the disease, you say to them about the song, and you say to them about you loving disillusionment, of course you don’t say to them who still they tray to get that information you say it only will be in private with the other person but almost every one knows who or they can say since Terezi and Dave look awful guilt.

So the worst part of all it is go and talk to them in private, It is funny because Terezi thinks is her fault and apologize again and again you take her from the shoulders and said to her that here is NOT anyone that can be blame for this, and this was just… awful life things, and then you have to say to them that it was actually Dave who you was to declare that day, and god him look awkward him is awkward but still try to say something but you find yourself wishing that him did not say what he say “I don’t know you were gay” It sounds like was a great treat, you are pansexual all trolls are, you figure out that maybe he don’t want to insult you but SHIT it still sounds like something that is wrong, HIM sound like he want you to be ashamed for been attract to him, that hurt bitch. But there is more he continue, and it get WORST “Bro I don’t have an idea” what a genius “I sorry i-if I send the wrong signal” Now he sounds ashamed for make me to fell in love for him “ M-maybe if we don’t past to much time together-” That was it your patience is broken, you lift, you take him from the shirt collar and want to hit him, hit him until you are not angry anymore but you drop him after look at his eyes he just look at you like something strange, weird, freak, awkward and he still looks shame like he want to not be like this with you but still doing it.

So, you yell in your angry mode, THAT YOU LOVE HIM FOR THE PERSON HE IS, NOT JUST FOR HOW MUCH TIME YOU SPEND TOGETHER, AND DEFINITELY THERE IS NO ONE TO SHAME SO FORGET ABOUT THAT SHIT. Then you left saying at last that nothing will cares after the surgery, SO HE NO NEED TO HAD MORE TO FEAR FROM THE FREAK TROLL WHO LIKE GUYS.

The rest of the month Dave try, really try to apologize but he can’t come so much closer, or say anything, at some point he is avoiding. Your friends try to be positive, Kanaya is consoling you every time she can, Terezi and Rose keep saying to you that is hard to Dave know how to approach and they try to make him apologize or make something before the month ends. Karkat thanks to they but he is not put his hope on it.

The time helps Karkat to cry and blame himself for still feel love that asshole, some days he just skips school because things hit harder those days but with all that time in hands karkat can’t help but written a knew sound to calm his grief and play it almost al nights waiting for surgery. Then the day come and go to the hospital, get ready lying on the stretcher and while the nurse put anesthesia to him, he can’t do anything but heard the song he write.

Nunca es suficiente para mí  
Porque siempre quiero más de ti  
Yo quisiera hacerte más feliz  
Hoy mañana siempre hasta el fin

  
Mi corazón estalla por tu amor  
Y tú qué crees que esto es muy normal  
Acostumbrado estas tanto al amor  
Que no lo ves, yo nunca he estado así

  
Si de casualidad  
Me ves llorando un poco  
Es porque yo te quiero a ti

Y tú te vas, jugando a enamorar

  
Todas las ilusiones vagabundas que se dejan alcanzar  
Y no verás, que lo que yo te ofrezco  
Es algo incondicional

Y tú te vas, jugando a enamorar

  
Te enredas por las noches entre historias que nunca tienen final  
Te perderás, dentro de mis recuerdos  
Por haberme hecho llorar

Nunca es suficiente para mí

  
Porque siempre quiero más de ti  
No ha cambiado nada mi sentir  
Aunque me haces mal te quiero aquí  
Mi corazón estalla de dolor

  
Como evitar que se fracture en mí  
Acostumbrado estas tanto al amor  
Que no lo ves, yo nunca he estado así  
Si de casualidad

  
Me ves llorando un poco  
Es porque yo te quiero a ti

Y tú te vas, jugando a enamorar  
Todas las ilusiones vagabundas que se dejan alcanzar

  
Y no verás, que lo que te ofrezco  
Es algo incondicional, incondicional

Y tú te vas, jugando a enamorar  
Te enredas por las noches entre historias que nunca tienen final

  
Te perderás, dentro de mis recuerdos  
Por haberme hecho llorar

Te perderás dentro de mis recuerdos  
Por haberme hecho llorar  
Te perderás dentro de mis recuerdos  
Por haberme hecho llorar

 

The next time you wake up is in a hospital room, things looks normal, near to you is your brother there other chair maybe your father who surely had to out and there are you thinking if you felt something different, try to figure out if something changes and try to thing in your romantic novels that shit still looks great but you don’t feel the same it seem that you can understand them but you don’t feel the same emotion… you still try to figure out how to call it, but maybe it could make more sense if we say that you don’t feel like you have the need of them anymore. Well that is a shit, strangely you don’t feel all angry at this fact as you thought you would.

Then decide to get up and try to wake up Kankri, but then something sound and you look to the other side to look a… someone? Kankri’s friend? Neighbor? Stranger blond man? You don’t know but him is hugging you now, saying sorry a lot of times and saying that maybe thing could be better after surgery… w-WHAT you are confuse and awkward not all days and stranger do th--- oh, OH shit..

Woa!! This is troubling, NO this is AWKWARD SO FUCKING AWKWAR, and you do not know how to say it to him so you just say it without thinking -W-who are you?- The man looks surprised, but laugh with anxiety and say that he understood you still angry to him but he pray you to forgive, then you put a more serious face and say -sorry, but really WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?- the expression across the man’s face make you feel a little pity for him situation.

Thankfully kankri wake up, take the man and go out to talk to him, when Kankri come back there is no stranger, and you just ask to him what was that? Kankri just say:

“Looks like no one says to Dave that for Troll side effects are usual remove all memories of the asshole the victim loves.”

**Author's Note:**

> First song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5xi3K6iQx4 (original with English Lyrics)  
> https://youtu.be/_xZGewOkjMU?t=37 (Guitar version)
> 
> Second song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwG44auMnK4 (original with English lyrics)
> 
> Thank for read <3


End file.
